I grew up in the same little town and house for most of my childhood. In the past 4 years, I have gotten married, joined a whole new family, moved to seven different towns, Anders and I have become financially independent, both started new careers, become first-time homeowners AND brought a human into the world who we are now fully responsible for.
That’s WAY more change in 4 years than I had in the first twenty put together.
No wonder it takes a while to adjust, to tweak things, to figure it all out. Not only do you have to figure it out for yourself, you also have to figure it out in the context of a marriage. I’m sure we will always be adjusting to new things but I’d argue that some of the most important adjustments are being made during this phase of our lives, the most pivotal, the ones that will set the tone for our life together. We are figuring out how to do life as adults and none of it is cut and dry.
If you are experiencing some of these same adjustments, realize that they are exactly that- adjustments!
Why on earth do we think we should nail everything right away?
You and your spouse aren’t a bad match and you’re not an incompetent mother. You are learning how to do life with all of these new components! You will need to make adjustments. You’ll need to take inventory of what’s working and what isn’t and tweak things accordingly. You’ll need to look at all aspects of your life and work at making them mutually satisfying for all parties.
There is no shame in ANY of that! However, it is a real shame when people bury their heads in the sand, turn a blind eye to what isn’t working, don’t speak up, are too complacent or prideful or insecure to seek help or make a change and instead, choose to live an unsatisfying life.
A beautiful, happy, fulfilling life, with plenty of negative emotions included along the way, is available to all of us. It takes courage and confidence and a belief that you deserve that kind of life in order to go out and create it. It takes humility, self-awareness and a lot of effort.
And I think it’s worth all of that, plus some!
Get out there and create an incredible experience for yourself.
Cheering you on always!
Xoxo,
Kaili
Want help gaining confidence or recreating your relationship? You can book a free consultation with me! We’ll chat about where you’re at and where you want to be and how to get there. Click here to schedule!
Photos by Melissa Charmaine Photography
Kaili Jacobson is a Certified Life Coach for mamas and the founder of Good Thoughts Rising. She helps women navigate marriage, motherhood and meeting their own needs- plus all of the anxiety that comes with those responsibilities. She believes in eating all the chocolate chips and staying up late to enjoy the silence. Kaili is a North Carolina native, but now resides in Charleston, SC with her husband and their darling little girl.