At one point in my life, I was sharing something I questioned and wondered about with someone I deeply respected and trusted. I assumed they’d have a concrete answer for me. Instead, they replied, “If it makes you feel better, I have the same questions as you.” At first, this response caught me off guard, disappointed me and even angered me, but as time has gone on, that one sentence has deepened my respect, admiration and trust of this person a million times over. In a world where people are rarely self-aware enough to be honest or vulnerable, where many people are quick to act as if they have all the answers, my chosen advisor was everything an elder should be.
The best advisors teach you everything they know and then they set you free at some point. They tip you off to the secret that we’re all working together to find the answers and making it up as we go. They encourage you to ask your questions and tap into your own intuition and connection to source. They let you go on your own journey of finding the people and information and strength you need to do your work in the world. Consciously or unconsciously, the best advisors understand how to help you move in this direction because they’ve been on a fulfilling journey themselves.
If you’re a mom, it’s past time you know the secret. In a world filled with conflicting advice and endless information, if you don’t know this, you might just go crazy. I’m here to set you free. To tip you off to the secret that we’re all working together to find the answers and making a lot of it up as we go.
I hope you’ll ask your questions and ignite your curiosity. Your curiosity is one of your superpowers. Your intuition is the other. If something isn’t sitting right for you, even if it sits right for someone else, lean into your curiosity. Go on a journey. Ask questions. Find great teachers and advisors you trust. Look for answers. Pay close attention. Let your problems become your guides. If you feel anxious around something, I bet there’s a good reason for it, though don’t take your anxieties at face value. It’s usually deeper. Don’t be afraid to do some digging.
You are here to go on your own journey. To let your curiosities lead you to the experiences that are right for you and the little family you’re raising. I know it can feel overwhelming being the mom. Feeling responsible for having the answers and then finding conflicting information everywhere you look. Remember that you get to decide what you to think about all of it and how you think, will create the feelings you feel. Those feelings will drive your actions, the choices and decisions you make. Thoughts create feelings and feelings drive actions and actions create results and experiences. It all starts with your thoughts and beliefs. Be intentional about those. Decide on purpose, consciously and deliberately what you want to think about the important things, the things that matter to you. You get to make it up, test things out and change your mind as often as you’d like. You’re the mom! The leader. The advisor. The boss. Claim your authority over your own life and your own motherhood journey.
Create some magic. Make it all up. This gets to be fun.
Xo, Kaili
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Kaili Jacobson is a Certified Life Coach for mamas and the founder of Good Thoughts Rising. She helps women navigate marriage, motherhood and meeting their own needs- plus all of the anxiety that comes with those responsibilities. She believes in eating all the chocolate chips and staying up late to enjoy the silence. Kaili is a North Carolina native, but now resides in Charleston, SC with her husband and their darling little girl.