At 9:30 last night, I was lighting candles and running bath water, when I heard little feet coming down the stairs. Anders had put Brighton down a little while before.
“I want mommy to snuggle me,” she said.
“It’s daddy’s turn to do bedtime tonight… let’s go find him,” I said.
“I want you!” she protested.
“I know, sweetie. Since it’s dad’s turn for bedtime, I am going to take a bath tonight. Mommys need to take care of themselves, too.”
I recently shared a post about my stream of consciousness the first time Brighton snuck out of her room late one night, at age two.
How my initial thought was, “Ugh! I need this break,” but then teenage Brighton popped into my mind. In that moment, I’d decided that on nights when she’d laid in bed for an hour or two, struggling to fall asleep and finally emerged, I wanted to be the kind of mom who didn’t just tolerate her, but was happy to see her.
And that’s still true.
But I like to remember adult Brighton, too.
If she chooses to have babies herself, I want that version of her to know that it’s okay to say no and prioritize herself sometimes, too.
In those moments, her little ones may feel disappointed and that’s okay.
It doesn’t diminish all the safety, trust, love and connection she has thoughtfully cultivated.
In those moments, she is modeling something just as important– healthy boundaries and self-respect.
Selfishly, I am glad both things matter… and one day, she will be, too. 😉
