A year or two ago, my mom’s cousin shared a tradition she and her husband do every December; a night away to plan for the new year. My type A personality thought that sounded like the best idea ever. I mentioned it to my husband, Anders, but stopped talking about it as Christmas approached because the thought of leaving Brighton made me so nervous. She still wakes up once a night to nurse and does not do great with a bottle.
However, on Christmas morning Anders gave me a card saying we were going on a goal setting/planning getaway. As much as I hated to leave my baby, I couldn’t pass on the trip! Plus we’d only be 30 minutes away if Brighton needed me.
We went to dinner and then to the hotel. We relaxed for a little bit and then I broke out my planner. Anders forgot his but we didn’t let that stop us. We asked the hotel for a pen and notepad and got busy!
I probably said to Anders 5 times, “This is the best night ever!” We had so much fun connecting and getting ready for a fresh start together. I could tell he was trying so hard to give me his undivided attention since he knows how much I love to plan and I loved hearing the things that are on his heart, what he’s happy with in his life and what he wants to work on and improve. I loved sharing my list and thoughts with him. Having a night devoted to this was so much better than just quickly running through our goals together.
Whether you go to a hotel or just have a date night at home, I highly recommend this tradition. If you’re single, this would still be so beneficial to do on your own or with a friend!
Here are a few steps to help you make the most out of your night:
1. The Right Atmosphere
Eliminate distractions before you get started. A hotel is a great option because your to-do list won’t be looming over you, but with a little work you can make that happen at home too! Clean your room, make the bed and light some candles. Home or hotel–make sure to put your phones away!
2. Share as You Go
Don’t wait until the end to start talking! During each step, take a minute to share some of the things you’ve written with your spouse or friend. This will open up new insights and make it more fun!
3. Evaluate by Category
Grab a pen and paper or a planner and jot down each of these categories: family, significant other, spiritual & personal development, friends, work, health, financial and recreation. Rate yourself on a scale from 1-10 in each area. Write down something you are doing well and anything you want to work on. (I’ve always set goals by categories, but my new Cultivate What Matters planner suggests these specifically and that you start by rating each one, which was so helpful!)
4. Create Measurable Goals
At the end of the year you should be able to tell whether or not you have achieved your goal. For example, “Eat healthy” is a terrible goal. It’s illusive and you’ll never get the high that comes from accomplishing it since you’ll never know if you actually have. Instead, you could try something like, “Eat 4 cups of veggies a day”.
I hope this helps! Please let me know if you try it out and how it goes. Here’s to an amazing year sweet friends!!
Love,
Kaili
Kaili Jacobson is a Certified Life Coach for mamas and the founder of Good Thoughts Rising. She helps women navigate marriage, motherhood and meeting their own needs- plus all of the anxiety that comes with those responsibilities. She believes in eating all the chocolate chips and staying up late to enjoy the silence. Kaili is a North Carolina native, but now resides in Charleston, SC with her husband and their darling little girl.