I share this because if you are living under the illusion that you will be happier when you get a new car, a house, a boyfriend, a different husband, older, more well-behaved children, a less dysfunctional family, a hotter bod or your degree, I want to burst your bubble. You’ll thank me later, promise! I’m preaching to you and to myself because while I didn’t think a house would solve my problems, there are areas of my life where my brain still struggles with this concept. Sometimes in life, we get lucky and a big change helps us shift our thoughts a little and we feel happier. But more often than not, if you have not learned to manage your mind under your current circumstances, you will not be able to manage it the way you’d like under new ones.
What have you been dreaming of? What future time do you imagine will be better than today? The truth is, your life is always going to be filled with 50% positive emotion and 50% negative. Understanding and internalizing this will allow you to use it to your advantage. Those glorified future moments seem so easy and care-free because they don’t exist yet. This is the only moment you have the power, privilege and ability to act in. It is real and raw and you can leave your mark on it. You can sit on the couch eating cheese puffs all day, scrolling instagram and feel negative emotion because of your thoughts about how unproductive you are OR you can feel the negative emotion that comes with pushing yourself to do something challenging. That is the secret to making the most of those negative emotions.
Being the person you want to be will not always feel good! Most of the time, it will feel hard at first. I want to be a present mom but some days it sounds a lot more pleasant to not be. I want to grow a thriving business but working towards that feels uncomfortable. I want to be in good shape but going to the gym isn’t always fun. Knowing that you will feel negative emotion 50% of the time regardless, what are you going to do with today? How will you show up for it? What will you accomplish?
Monday morning, I decided that me and my PMS were going to pull ourselves together. I was tired of wallowing. I got myself moving. I stopped focusing on how behind I was and did the things on my calendar, even though I didn’t feel like it. I got back into my gym routine. I was productive during my work hours. I spent more time on the floor playing with my baby. Just a few days later, I feel like a new woman. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still felt my fair share of negative emotion, but mainly the kind that leads to positive emotion.
If you have been feeling down or in a rut, I hope this post gives you a little boost and helps you to know that you’re not alone. As always, I’d love for you to share it with your friends on Instagram or Facebook if you find it helpful.
So glad you’re here.
Xo,
Kaili
Kaili Jacobson is a Certified Life Coach for mamas and the founder of Good Thoughts Rising. She helps women navigate marriage, motherhood and meeting their own needs- plus all of the anxiety that comes with those responsibilities. She believes in eating all the chocolate chips and staying up late to enjoy the silence. Kaili is a North Carolina native, but now resides in Charleston, SC with her husband and their darling little girl.