I talk with women often who want to do something in addition to being a mama. They want to be home with their babies most of the time, but they also want to use their gifts and talents to do something they’re interested in. I stressed about this for years, way before I even got pregnant. I know how you feel and want to help! Below I’ve included several questions for you to ask yourself, but before you get started, I want to throw in a couple of disclaimers…
Timing is everything. When we decided to start our family, all of my plans for a career had fallen through or didn’t feel right. A part of me worried that this was the end of all my dreams outside of motherhood. I was so wrong! Having Brighton absolutely led me to coaching and I can’t imagine loving a job more. You think you know how things are suppose to go, but you don’t. Loosen your grip a little and enjoy the process.
Regardless of how hard you try to find your “thing,” I believe you will find it exactly when you are suppose to. When you are in the state of mind that you NEED to hurry and figure out what to do with your life, you will probably do the opposite. You’ll rush into a bunch of things that you later find, aren’t even that fun to you. Now this may just be part of your process and that’s fine too! But recognize that all you’re really after is a feeling. You think you will feel confident and happy when you’ve found your “calling,” but those feelings are available to you right now. They come from your thoughts. You may be happier and more confident when you have a job or hobby you love but it will only be because you are thinking thoughts like, “I have a purpose” and, “I’m good enough.” You can think those thoughts now! Life will always be 50% positive emotion and 50% negative emotion, even once you find your “dream job.” I found a job I love, but my life still sucks sometimes! And there are days when I want to go back to being a mom full-time. Just keeping it real!
Okay now to what you’re here for… This little guide may help you to figure out what to pursue or it may just help you eliminate some options for now- Either way, I hope it’s useful to you!
Step one- Grab a pen and paper.
Step two- Answer the following questions…
What have you enjoyed doing in the past?
What comes naturally to you?
When do you feel the most calm and in your element?
What do you perceive as your weaknesses? (Some may actually be your strengths!)
What did you get told to stop doing the most when you were a kid?
How much time are you willing to spend on a job or hobby? (This should help you narrow down your options a ton, it did for me!)
What have you tried doing in the past? Did you enjoy it? Why or why not?
From time to time, come back to your list and add any new insights.
If you’re interested, I’ve included a random list of my own answers to help jog your memory. As random as my insights are, they helped me zero in on my interests so when an opportunity presented itself, I was ready to take action. I so hope this is helpful to at least one mama! If so, it will have been worth writing!
Love,
Kaili
Okay don’t you dare read my list and think, “She’s special, God has something specific for her, but not for me.” That is a lie! Satan would love for you to spend your life thinking other people are better and more capable than you. He convinced me of this for quite awhile. Stop buying into it! I believe God gave you a desire to do something with your unique abilities for a reason.
For me, I knew I loved the classroom setting. I was that obnoxious girl who sat in the front row and would not shut up. Special shout out to my professors and classmates at SVU for not hating me. And to those who did hate me- I understand.
I love reading, especially self-help books.
You know that friend or relative who is well-meaning, but tells you what to do with your life? Well that’s kind of me…
I hate anything tech related. I avoid turning on the tv and finding my way to netflix at all costs.
I wish I was a visual, creative type person but I’m really not. I tried getting into photography, but it kind of stressed me out more than anything else.
When friends have opened up to me about difficult things they are going through or have been through, I have felt so close to God in those moments. I love listening and being there for others when they are struggling mentally or emotionally.
I was a gymnast until I was 17 and then coached gymnastics for several years. I liked it, but it wasn’t nearly as exciting to me as school or talking someone’s ear off.
I thought about becoming a realtor when we first moved to Charleston and still think that job seems fun in some ways. But I also hate anything last minute so showing houses probably wouldn’t have worked out that well for me. I know this now because I just finished worrying the life out of a realtor.
Did I mention that I love to talk? I love listening too. As a kid I was told often that I talked too much. Nothing is more fun to me than a deep conversation.
I also considered teaching fitness classes. Couldn’t get up the nerve to ask any instructor in my area how she certified though so that didn’t happen… #socialanxiety. Currently that doesn’t really interest me. I love to exercise but not sure I’d love leading classes at this point in my life.
I really wanted to go to school for marriage and family therapy, but every time I started working on a plan to go back to school, I just didn’t feel great about the options. It was frustrating at the time but I get why now!
I like popping zits so when my kids are grown, I may look into becoming a dermatologist or esthetician. Just kidding. But seriously.
When I was in high school, I was interested in physical therapy so I shadowed a physical therapist for quite some time. I like interacting with people so I loved that part of it.
I volunteered at a retirement home for years and still think I’d love running activities at one.
While I know there are plenty of things I could enjoy doing, when I found coaching, I was all in almost immediately. I was so passionate about the tools and couldn’t learn enough about them. I also loved the idea of being in control of everything myself. That being said- I didn’t tell anyone besides my mama and husband for 3 months because the thought of doing so made me feel nauseous. If you’re waiting to find something that is easy and doesn’t require you to step out of your comfort zone at all, you’re going to be disappointed! I have felt more uncomfortable over the past 6 months than I have my entire life combined… Again, just trying to keep this real!
If you make your own list, I would love to hear about it!!
Kaili Jacobson is a Certified Life Coach for mamas and the founder of Good Thoughts Rising. She helps women navigate marriage, motherhood and meeting their own needs- plus all of the anxiety that comes with those responsibilities. She believes in eating all the chocolate chips and staying up late to enjoy the silence. Kaili is a North Carolina native, but now resides in Charleston, SC with her husband and their darling little girl.